Though it’s hard to leave my blogspot of almost 8 years (read: our first official blog as a married couple), I’ve decided to move platforms in hopes that I would be able to post more consistently (hello, WordPress app that I can easily post with vs. safari browser with the smallest buttons in the world)
To be honest, this past year I wrestled about whether or not to continue blogging as I’ve done for the past 18 years (I started in 7th grade in them xanga days, y’all – take me back!) Life was definitely busy and when I did have a pocket of time to share something on my heart, the busyness took precedence. However my lack of posting this past year was due to something more internal. For the first time in my life of blogging (sounds so dramatic..), this past year I struggled with fear: Fear of what people might presume by reading about these small windows of my life. Fear of what people might think. Fear of how people would feel reading the things that i share. Fear that people might assume that I view myself as better than I am, or my life as more exciting than it is. Fear that, in this day and age of social media and digital craze, that i might inadvertently cause people to compare (which is natural because it happens and I do it too…but it sucks!) Fear that people might think I’m dumb because my grammar is the literal worst.
I also got a little nervous because when I had linked my personal blog to my etsy shop, some of my posts were read up to 10,000x *gulllllllp* and i felt nervous! Self conscious!
For the past 10 years or so, I committed to using this platform for one purpose and one purpose only. To use it as a means to share my life in honest ways and to proclaim and magnify the goodness, grace and faithfulness of the God that I love and live for. I blogged through my college days, through the stress and strain of nursing school, wedding planning, the giddy newly wed days and through the hardship of having a pharmacy student husband. We’ve shared about our struggles with infertility and the long-awaited and surprising news of our first pregnancy. I blogged through my different pregnancies, sharing silly things like what’s in my hospital bag and even both of my birth stories. I found such joy in sharing my life and loves through this platform, and strived to proclaim the excellencies of my Savior through it all. My desire today is the same as it was 10 years ago, and yet this past year I wrestled hard.
However, in this new year, I really want to commit to blogging again! Not because I think my life is perfect (it’s not) or because everything is always awesome (it isn’t). It’s also not because my grammar has improved (DUH) or because I think I am some amazing individual with lots of share (I am surely not). I want to blog again because I have always wanted to use my life and all of the messy, crazy, chaotic, beautiful things to magnify the God who created me, sustains me in my everyday and whom I trust is orchestrating every detail of my life to draw me closer to Himself. I want every person who ever reads my blog to get a glimpse of Him, to understand Him in more real ways – and to find evidences of His grace in the everyday. God created me to be this open book, almost always shameless, I-know-I-just-met-you-at-Starbucks-5-minutes-ago-but-let-me-tell-you-my-life-story person .. so I hope that this blog would be used to make Him known and better seen in the ordinary and mundane.
Who knows how successful I will be in resurrecting my blog again, but here’s to hoping!
Soli Deo Gloria!
❤
life with the tsengs 